In this episode we’re chatting with special guest Bella Mahaya Carter about how you can rethink your ambitions and trust in your heartfelt purpose and values in the journey to becoming, or continuing on, as an author.

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Resources we mentioned in this episode

• The Creative Academy for Writers
• Coverdesigndirectory.com
• Scion of Gaia by Michele Amitrani
• Where Do You Hang Your Hammock? by Bella Mahaya Carter
• Raw: My Journey from Anxiety to Joy by Bella Mahaya Carter
• Secrets of My Sex by Bella Mahaya Carter
• The War of Art by Steven Pressfield
• Bella Mahaya Carter’s website

Transcript for Strategic Authorpreneur Episode 061: Balanced Writing Life with Bella Mahaya Carter

Crystal Hunt: Hey there, strategic authorpreneurs. Welcome to episode 61 of the Strategic Authorpreneur Podcast. I’m Crystal Hunt.

Michele Amitrani: And I’m Michele Amitrani and we are here to help you save time, money, and energy as you level up your writing career.

If you find this show helpful, you can help us keep the episodes coming by clicking to the buy us a coffee button on the website and the show notes.

Crystal Hunt: Today we’re chatting with author and writing coach Bella Mahaya Carter about how you can rethink your ambitions and trust in your heartfelt purpose and values in the journey to becoming or continuing on as an author. But first things first, we’re going to give a bit of an update as to what we have been doing in our own writing lives. Michele, what is new in the wonderful world of Italian fantasy writing? 

What has happened since the last episode?

Michele Amitrani: Crystal those have been a couple of very busy weeks you know, that have been working on the novella for the box set of the science fiction series.

I’m happy to say that the novella is done. It’s now part, an integral part of that product. So people that like the series. I can get to this novella and give me if they want their email address so that I can start building up that side… of that segment of my mailing list. It was fun going back to the, the Omnilogos series. I wrote the the novella, which turned out to been around the 19,000 words, in around 10 days. I liked it and it was the first time for me, like for… I would say three years, actually wrote fiction in Italian as you know, I’m now focusing in English side of things. So it was refreshing. It was just weird because sometimes I just started a sentence in English and finish it in Italian, not the nicer experience in that regard, but this is what it means to be like a bilingual world author.

I am also experimenting with Facebook ads. That’s another new thing for me. I bumped up the price for a Omnilogos box set a to 8.99 Euro, and I want to see how that goes. It might look like a high price but I always have to remember there’s four books there.

So I just wanted to try: the normal price was 6 99. I am committed to keep it it is 8.99 for 30 days and see how it goes. But really my objective Crystal here is to learn a bit more about the Facebook ads platform. Which I really don’t know a lot about, in the hope to integrate in future release to boost ranking and visibility to other books.

I am now okay with Amazon ads on the Italian-in front, I’m starting to branch out on the Facebook side. I’m taking it very, very, very small steps and I’m not spending a lot of money, but I just want learn a bit, because I do know if you have the Amazon on ads on one side and the Facebook ads on the other can really start doing some damages on that side. It’s not easy, and as is happened on the Amazon ads, I’m now officially losing money, but it’s just been four days and of course I will keep you updated on how my Facebook ads adventures goes and the Facebook ads are on the Omnilogos was a box set. This is important to point out. Scion of Gaia, the mythological fantasy number four will be out by the time you guys listen to this episode. I’m very excited to see how this one goes, because this is going to be the first installment on the new mythological fantasy series. Again, I will keep you updated. And a King of Defiance, the second one and Song of Forever are already done just need to schedule the release and then I will have a new series out and by the start of 2022, it will be finished and I will actually be able to have some data to study, and to see if this mythological fantasy adventure that has started that the end of 2020 really brought me something on the, on the revenue side, on the visibility side, on that kind of things. Finally the Italian nonfiction number three will also be out by the time you hear this episode. I am trying something a bit different with the release of this particular nonfiction book, which is on mailing list building.

And then basically trying to push this book at full price on release data and I have no idea of how this one is going to go. As always at the cost of repeating myself. I ain’t going to actually know how it goes so that I can report the results and hopefully can add some value.

And what about you, Crystal? So what news from the beautiful British Columbia?

Crystal Hunt: Fall seems to be here and I love it. It’s my favourite time of year and I always find that back to school anergy is a really great one for dropping right into the writing. I don’t know what it is about tea cozy blanket and being able to wear my favourite sweaters that just makes me words just start going on the page.

And it is very satisfying. So I have been settling into a regular daily writing routine, and this is the first season where I really don’t have any competing things after my attention, I really get to stay fully in being a writer and it is it’s working. It’s really fun. I am loving it and the productivity is there as well, which, you know, after a long battle of distractions is pretty great.

So last week, and I’m going to just put this down here, cause I’m fully celebrating I wrote 30,000 words and I’m very excited about that. So I have been diving into still fiction and non-fiction, we’re prepping for our co-author book release. So that one is off with the editor. We’re getting everything finalized and the pre-order set up and we’ve picked a pub date and all of that is happening.

So that is very exciting in our Creative Academy guides for writers series. And then I’m actually working on two additional nonfiction books at the moment. So one is the Strategic Indie Author, which is about basically making good choices, a lot of what we talk about on the podcast here, but basically about making good choices for you about how you want to approach your indie publishing career and how those pieces come together. And I’m also, co-writing a Build Better Settings book with Eileen Cook. So it’s a craft one, which I am loving. It’s not entirely about business or anything else. We get to dive deep into craft land and have some fun with that. And part of why I’m working on both of those at the same time is the Surrey International Writers’ conference is coming up and I’m teaching a number of sessions this year. So a masterclass that Eileen Cook and I are doing together is actually on setting. So we’re able to, you know, dig into some of the things we’re doing in our book and give people a bit of preview there, but also get feedback and input of what people are struggling with so we can work that into the book. And then I’m also teaching a course on writing shorter romance and strategic indie publishing. So that all kind of informs the different nonfiction books. And I love the synergy of that when you are working on creating product that you were also able to multi-purpose that content and use it in other places other ways and it’s a great way to kind of beta test your content as well, and make sure that you’re explaining things in a way that resonates with people and getting that feedback early on. 

On the fiction side I am switching over on Monday to working on Elfed, which is the next McAllisters one, which is about half done and I need to get the second half done so that it can come out in time for Christmas this year. So that is, I’m really excited to get back to that one. I love it. It’s a bit of a romantic comedy and I adore the cover and the characters are so fun and it is a continuation of the McAllisters of Rivers End.

And so it’s kind of the next one in that line of things. And it’ll be the first brand new release wide on the fiction side of things for me as well. So that’s awesome. And one last interesting thing is I found, I found discovered was shared the coverdesigndirectory.com website is a new kind of tool that you can go to if you’re looking for cover designers and it’s a great resource. Dangerous. We will share it in both the show notes and we’ll send it out in our newsletter this week. It is really fun. You can play around, find cover designers that you like. You can see who’s available to take on new projects at the current month. And you can really dig down into a ton of different designers that have pre-meds and also do customs.

So I poked around this morning and I found a trilogy of covers that I absolutely loved for cozy mystery. I Bought them. So I’m very excited about that and now just have to finish those stories so I can get them out there and share the covers with all of you, but we will share the resource because we know that finding a good cover designer that you love and love working with and gives you really great covers can be a challenge.

So we will make sure that we share that for all of you as well. All right, now it is time to dive into our interview. 

About Bella Mayaha Carter

Michele Amitrani: Great, so Bella we are so happy that you are with us today. We just wanted to start off by asking you a bit about yourself and what drew you to writing? 

Bella Mahaya Carter: What drew me to writing just in a general way? Wow. That’s a great question. I haven’t been asked that question in a long time. I actually started out as a dancer.

I was a student at the Julliard School in New York City, and I, one of the things I loved about that curriculum was that I got to do a lot of choreography. And what choreography is, is storytelling. But then I got injured and I had to leave and then I discovered literature. But the truth is when you say what got you started writing, I really have to go all the way back to my childhood and say that when I was really little, I used to hang out at the dinner table way pass the time the other kids left and I used to listen to the adult conversation, ’cause, they would say things after the kids left and they just kind of didn’t even notice me, but they would say things that revealed the human condition.

And I was really interested in people and why they did what they did and how they did what they did. And, and I loved stories. And another little piece about that, about childhood was that I used to like, to make up crazy stories and tell the neighborhood kids, and my sister would get so angry and she would say, don’t listen to her she’s such a bullshit artist and she would get really get mad at me, but I, it was, I was innocent. I really felt like I just wanted to see what was believable. So the evolution of becoming a writer was actually seated in childhood with a love of story and a love of the human condition. It evolved as I became a dancer with wanting to tell stories through that medium and then I actually went to film school. I had all of these different things that I tried as a storyteller, and I really didn’t start writing until, I guess after I left film school, I was disillusioned with Hollywood and I stumbled into a poetry class nd that was the beginning of my, that was, I guess I was in my early twenties and that was the beginning, I just never stopped from.

Crystal Hunt: So a lifelong storyteller. That’s awesome.

Bella Mahaya Carter: Yes. I mean I could have just said I was a lifelong storyteller.

Crystal Hunt: But that wouldn’t have been that interesting. We like to hear all the beats and pieces and details. I actually have a dance background as well. That was my first sort of expression way back in the day and loved it.

But, you know, also did that transition through all the different things and it is such a good grounding for other things like the discipline and the understanding of how, you know, multiple parts work together, the music, the movements, the, all of the things, and really learning that stories can be told in a way that’s not what they look like.

Like you don’t have to literally say what you want the story to be. I think is a really interesting thing to be reflected in a writing sort of career or writing a future format. And you also on your website, you show that you’re an author, but also a writing teacher and a coach who helps people get out of their own way so that what wants to be expressed through them is free to come forward. And I really loved that expression and I wondered if you could tell us a little bit more, like, what does in your own way look like, and then how do we get out of it? How does that work?

Bella Mahaya Carter: Oh, I love this question. So mostly we get in our own way with our thinking.

We have a lot of thoughts in our head and they interfere with whatever expression is trying to get through us. I have this cool thing on my desk. It’s a snow globe and I know that your audience can’t see it, but it has a bunch of rocks in it and the rocks, even though they’re glued together, they remind me of the sense of equilibrium that is within all of us that we don’t even realize we have.

But what happens is the snow globe gets, she gets shaken. And so the snow goes all over the place and so you lose your connection to that balance inside you. And that balance is the natural intelligence that we all have. That has something that wants to express, but we, we get into our heads about, oh, I’m not good enough, oh, who cares? What I have to say, oh, I’ll never get this published. Oh, it’s too hard. And we have all this thinking that prevents the expression from coming from.

And by the way, I love the use of your word discipline earlier when you were talking about dance, because the root of the word discipline is ‘disciple’ and a disciple is someone who learns. And so if we approach life with a learning orientation, rather than a conquering or approving orientation, we’ll have a nicer experience.

Michele Amitrani: Yeah. And it’s a nice, you were mentioning about stories and sometimes it’s like the story that we tell ourselves that stops us from reaching and doing the things that we want to do writing wise, but that can be applied to many other things. And I also… I was reading one of your blog posts.

You were mentioning one power word relating to publishing. You were discussing where does the word ‘publish’ come from? And then you use ‘publicare’ and that is from Latin, which is the very bedrock of where I come from. So I really liked that, that you it’s like you mine for the meaning of the word.

So that that made me really like those those posts when you basically really go deep and I can clearly see that you are not the person that is satisfied with the surface. You want to go into the deep and because you wants to go and explore this deep or depth of things we know that you published the book, Where Do You Hang Your Hammock? And the question that I really want to ask you is where does the title come from?

Bella Mahaya Carter: I love listening to you. I would just, I’m going to have to just listen to the show all the time, because that was, that was so cool just to hear what you said. The title comes from a story that had actually happened in my life.

About 10 years ago, my husband and my daughter gave me this fabulous mother’s day gift. It was a hammock and I loved it, but I didn’t know where to put it. The backyard… we have a pretty decent sized backyard, but I host literary salons back there. And I didn’t want a hammock in the middle of my space. But then I realized, you know, we have this old shit on the side of the house and it’s just really filled with junk.

So we cleaned out the shed, we demolished it, we cleared the space and we set up my hammock under this beautiful canopy of leaves on the side of the house. And it was my happy place. I went there, you know, I lived in Southern California, six months of the year. I can be in my hammock. It was fantastic. One day I went out to my hammock and something had changed.

It was, I didn’t know what it was, but it wasn’t happy. I looked up and I realized that the canopy of leaves that was, that was shading me in my hammock. My neighbour had cut the limb of the tree down. The tree was planted on his side of the fence, but there was a hole in the fence through which the limb extended and created this gorgeous canopy of leaves.

He didn’t say anything. He didn’t mention it. I was pissed. I was so angry and I just was railing and raging, but I mean, I tried to work with it. I’ve covered myself with a sheet I put on sunscreen… nothing. I was just broiling. It was horrible. My husband kept coming up with great ideas. Oh, we could plan something and oh no, no, it would take too long to grow.

And so it was just this disaster. I felt like: I’m screwed, you know, this is just this. So the, so all summer I didn’t use my hammock and then toward the end of the summer, I just was really wanted to be outside in my hammock. And so I just said, well, you know, let me see what I can do. I put on some old gardening gloves, I tore down a rotting, Redwood trellis. I dragged the hammock to another location. I got into my hammock. I looked up and I thought, oh, this is beautiful. Why hadn’t I done this sooner? And the reason that I hadn’t done it sooner, it was because my mind was fixed. My mind had this idea, which of course I just made up, which was like, the hammock goes here.

This is the spot for the hammock. Now I want to also say that since that experience with the hammock, I have moved my hammock many times and there is not a bad place in my yard for the hammock. But what this has to do with writing is that when I set out to work to… I want to say, to sell. When I went out, when I was pitching my memoir Raw: My Journey from Anxiety to Joy things, weren’t unfolding the way I expected them to.

And it was almost as if somebody had cut down the shade to my project. It was like I had to keep shifting because the circumstances weren’t unfolding in the way that I wanted them to and I had to make decisions. Well, am I going to just ignore this project? Or am I going to let it be, or am I going to shift gears and move it and get a different view and move forward?

And that’s what I did. And that’s why I tell that story in the introduction to my book, as a way of saying: Hey, people let’s get out of all of this rigid thinking, all of these thoughts that we have in our head, it’s not who we are. No, it’s our ego trying to navigate where we are and keep us safe.

But there’s a kind of inherent safety built in, I think, to the human condition, you know? And then once we realized that we don’t have to be so… we don’t have to be hijacked by our own thinking or beliefs.

Crystal Hunt: So true. If there’s that one limiting factor for all of us, what we believe is our sort of upper limit or what we’re capable of or all of those ideas about, well, that’s the only tree— 

How the three Principles of Mind, Consciousness, and Thought can influence an author’s journey

Bella Mahaya Carter: Can I add something to this because I’m actually, I’m actually going to be giving a talk in a couple of weeks and I’ve been thinking a lot about this.

So our thinking is one thing and our beliefs is something else. Our thinking, you know, who knows where our thoughts come from, they arise and then they, and then if we don’t like cling on to them, if we don’t grasp them tightly, they just pass. Right? So we can have negative thinking. And, you know, if we don’t really, if we just, if we realize that we’re not our thinking, you know, If we think of ourselves as we’re fish in water, right?

Like the fish in the water, they’re not aware of the water, but they think the water is part of them. So with thought, that’s how we are with thought. We think that, you know, this thought that we have, we think that it’s true. Right? So thinking, but thinking comes and goes, beliefs are a little bit stickier because beliefs actually get formed when we’re very young.

Like from the time we’re born to the the first three years of. And beliefs are the ego’s way of navigating the wounds that inevitably occur because look, our parents aren’t perfect and we have needs and not all of our needs are filled. And so beliefs get formed really early on and they are entrenched thought they… and they motivate our behaviours.

Here’s an example. So the one belief that I had from a very young age is I’m not good enough. And so the compensating behavior for me was, well, I have to achieve things. And so I was constantly jumping through hoops to try and achieve things, to compensate for this deep down belief that I’m not good enough.

And this happens all the time. And so we’re living in our compensating behavior. And so when I talked to writers, you know, I really try to kind of get beneath that so that people can write just from the joy of writing and not because they’re trying to prove anything to anybody, even themselves. 

Crystal Hunt: That has been a big theme for us as what we’re discussing on the podcast over the last few months is kind of rediscovering that joy if you’ve been in it for a while and making sure that the inherent motivation is so much stronger when you’re doing something, because you’re actually enjoying the activity as opposed to just looking for a payday or, you know, or approval from other people or whatever.

So that’s been an ongoing topic for us over the last little while.

Ways of kindling your love for writing

Bella Mahaya Carter: 15 years ago, my life looks completely different. I was I had five projects in my file cabinet that were not completed. Five books. I had chronic stomach problems. I thought I was a failure. I was 46 years old and I thought I have not done what I’ve come here to do. I failed. And I didn’t know what to do. And then I heard about this program in spiritual psychology and I, I went to an information evening and somebody said, well, what would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail? And I said, well, you know, I’d get my books in the world. I’d start teaching and coaching. I would do public speaking, you know, because this was all the stuff that was inside me that I felt like I needed to do.

And the person said to me, well, I got news for you. There is no such thing as failure. There are only opportunities for growth. And guess what? This pit that you’re in, this, this horrible situation that you feel is unredeemable. This is your opportunity. And, and then the, you know, from there, it was like, just I started my practice. I started teaching, coaching, writing. I’ve had three books published, so it really was a game changer that happened from the inside out, not the outside in.

Crystal Hunt: So I’m curious if we can dig in a little more depth to your actual book content. So the, the most recent book that you released is Where Do You Hang Your Hammock? And that one is probably the most directly relevant to our writing audience at this time. So for that one, you divide things into five parts you said, right?

So dreaming, nourishing, writing, publishing, and promoting things are kind of those five pieces. And it says that you show writers how to use their present moment circumstances as stepping stones to a successful and meaningful writing life. So, okay, when you think about that, what are those present moment circumstances?

Like if we’re looking around us trying to define some of those pieces. How does that work? 

Bella Mahaya Carter: Yeah. Thank you. The present moment circumstances is just what is in terms of your writing life. Like maybe you’re shopping a manuscript and you’re getting a, you’ve gotten 36 rejections. And you’re wondering if you should send it out again.

Present moment circumstances maybe is your, every time you go into your office to write, you just can’t write. Present moment circumstance might be, you are asked to give a talk to an organization based on the content of your book. And you’ve never given this kind of a talk before, and you’ve never used PowerPoint and they want it to be on video.

And so you have to learn the technology. So the present moment circumstances are whatever challenge you’re in. And it doesn’t, I mean we’re not always in challenge right? But a lot of times as writers we are, and there’s a lot of, there’s a, there’s a huge learning curve. There’s so much, you know, it’s one thing to write a book, it’s another thing to publish a book and it’s another thing to promote a book. So what I, what I try to do is to help writers at every stage of the process, get out of their own way, get present. And by getting present, I really do mean, I mean three there’s three, really three components. There’s slow down, stop trying to do everything. You cannot be on every platform. You cannot do everything. Slow down and, and then, and be aware, know who you are, know why you, right? Like, what are you, what’s your purpose for writing? And I got news for you. If your purpose for writing is to become rich and famous. Try something else, it’ll be easier. I mean, rich and fame, I mean it happens to some people, but it doesn’t happen to most people.

So see if you can identify why you write and be clear about what your values are. And the other thing is, is surrender your illusion. Surrender your illusions of what you imagine this writing is going to do for you, you know, ask what can I do? What can I give? How can I be of service to my writing, to the people that I share my writing with.

So it’s those kinds of questions that I like to ask people to help them refocus so that they’re navigating from the inside out rather than from the outside in. Does that answer your question? 

Crystal Hunt:  Yep. Absolutely. 

Michele Amitrani: Yeah. It’s like a bit of a principle of know thyself and then you can start looking around and see, okay. What I can do? What’s best for me? What do I want to do from this point on? And I think it’s a good inception question from which you can, depart, and you can start your writing journey, or if you went in a way you didn’t want to go that way. It’s a good, It’s a good way for you to understand if you went in the wrong path.

And so you can course correct and you can understand where you’re going and why. Your why, if you will. And Bella I know that you teach a spiritual principle and stuff like self acceptance, forgiveness. All these things are very important for writers and these are the thing that leads to a complete manuscript you were mentioning before of your project, that there were five of them and had to tackle them, you know a bit like a huge unsurmountable beast and that you have to domesticate or slain, whatever you prefer. Dragons, for example. I love fantasy. So the first thing that I think when I think of a manuscript that is a dragon to domesticate or to slain. So I guess what I would like to ask you is since all of these principles, For writers are important, could you tell us, please a bit more about how you think each and everyone of these principles contributes to your writing life? 

Why it is better to embrace our story, rather than fight it

Bella Mahaya Carter: Wow. Okay. There’s two things here. The first thing is that what you said about slaying the dragon? I love that. And I, when I was hearing you say that I was thinking to myself, well, actually, what I’ve had to learn how to do this let the dragon slay me, and the dragon. It’s not this fearsome beast. Well, maybe it is a fearsome beast, but all it needs is love.  

When you love the dragon, you don’t have to fight it because it becomes a benevolent force when you love it. And for writers this is, so this and the principles that you mentioned in the second part of the question, this is what sets us free at every stage of the process, because part of what trips us up, and this is true in my experience, you know, I say we, and so I don’t mean to be presumptuous, but I’ve worked with hundreds of writers over the past decade and I’ve been writing for 30 years myself and I see my own process, and so I’m really familiar with this terrain. And what I see is just the, just how we’re always getting in our own way.

And we’re getting in our own way with the judgment, with the need to be outstanding, with expectations that are unrealistic with I’ll just end there, for the time being. But when we learn how to loosen our, our, hold on these, these ideas, these principles, we start to actually be able to dance with the dragon, even though it’s sometimes beastly looking. We are in, we are in this synchronous space of life itself, really, and we’re not fighting and pushing and striving, but instead we’re, you know, we’ve taken a step back and we’re allowing and we’re releasing and we’re surrendering and where, you know, we’re open to a force bigger than we.

Crystal Hunt: Awesome. So speaking of big forces and I’m digging deep and facing things and accepting things, you have written about some pretty big topics in your previous books as well. So a couple of those titles are Secrets of my Sex and Raw: My Journey from Anxiety to Joy and I’ll both of those in poking around a bit in them are very personal and deep, and I’m sure it took a lot of bravery to put those out into the wider world and to really be vulnerable enough to make those real.

So I’m curious what you can share with us about what that process kind of taught you about yourself and also any tips you might have for people who are tackling some of those tricky, very personally exposing topics. 

Bella Mahaya Carter: Thank you for asking that question and thank you for digging around and, you know, just caring enough to do that.

That’s that’s pretty, that’s pretty cool. When I was a young writer, I had two recurring dreams. One was that I was in a foreign prison for something that I had said or written that I didn’t know, I wasn’t allowed to say or write. The other dream that I had was my treasure dreams in which I was living in a house that was bigger than I thought and filled with treasure I didn’t know I had.

So, so I kind of knew, I knew like deep down, I knew there was something inside, not just me, but it’s inside of all of us, that is our treasure. I also knew that I was afraid to share it. I was afraid for lots of reasons. Just to give you a specific example, when I was working on Secrets of My Sex, at that time writing, I was a young, young writer and I was writing poetry and I was writing a lot about my sex life.

And I was doing that because it was my way of sort of processing and understanding and putting meaning around what all that was, and because it was forbidden to talk in those days, it was forbidden to talk about those things. I honestly believed that if I wrote what I wanted to write, my husband would leave me, my parents would disinherit, and I would probably end up going crazy. I would end up either on the streets or in a psychiatric hospital. I believe those things. That was my thinking. And what I discovered was that the more I was willing to share from the depths, the truth about my experience… it’s like little by little, it started to set me free.

And none of those things of course happened. I just got freer and freer and freer. Now I’m trying to think, you know, it’s true that when it comes time to publish, you have to ask different questions. When it comes to writing what I like to do with my students and clients is I like to say no holds barred. You get to do whatever you want. You get to say whatever you want. This is the writing process is just that. And then when it comes to publishing, you have to ask different questions. Like, you know, I showed my publisher, I showed my manuscript to my husband before I published it. And I said, you know, is this okay with you? Because my relationship with my husband is more important to me than the book. Right? So there really was only one poem, which is remarkable because the poems are very revealing. Of course I make stuff up all the time because I’m a writer, right? So it’s not like everything in that book is, is it’s, you know, it’s made up.

So, so there is, so there’s a way to, you know, different questions have to be asked at different stages of the process, but and with Raw: My Journey from Anxiety to Joy, I didn’t even know it was writing a book about anxiety until, well, actually until after I had my advanced reader copies and some readers read it.

You know, I thought I was writing a book about my midlife quest for health and happiness. I didn’t even know I had anxiety and then three quarters of the way into writing the book… The book is divided into three sections: body, mind, and spirit. And when I was outlining it, I was very clear about the body and the mind section. But the spirit section, I didn’t really know. I kind of flubbed it in the outline and the reason was I hadn’t yet lived that section. But then when I was writing the book, we had five family deaths in three years. I was the executor of a contentious estate and I developed an anxiety disorder and was afraid to leave my house.

And my doctor, the only thing my doctor could do for me was prescribed medication, which I didn’t really want to take. And I recognize this crisis was an opportunity. And so I really went on a journey, a healing journey. And had a couple of mystical experiences and it was just remarkable. So what I, you know, when I go back to the analogy of the dragon, you know, there, I was writing my memoir thinking I’m slaying the dragon, I’m slaying the dragon.

And then suddenly I was completely incapacitated. Literally could not leave my house. I was so afraid. And then I was like, okay, well, you know, can you love this too? Voice said to me and I didn’t always love it. I’ll be honest with you. I didn’t always love it. And sometimes I did have to take medication cause it was really gnarly and debilitating, but I got through it.

I got through to the other side and, and I’m better for it. I’m better for it.

Michele Amitrani: Yeah, I think you need courage. and resistance is very strong some time. We, love to mentioned the book the War of Art a lot of times. And I do think that we have this conversation many times with others that we invite to the Strategical Authorpreneur. It is difficult. There is, of course, the love part, but for sure, also the difficult part. 

And I think the thing that makes us writers, the one that makes us continue is really because the love of component is stronger, if you will, or because you have a strong ‘why’ there must be a reason why to proceed forward. It’s not something for everybody. It takes a tool some times. You probably not going to like this again, it might be taken from my past in science fiction and fantasy, but sometimes I feel like I’m crawling in a war camp and there are a lot of bombs around, so it takes aa toll, but at the end of the day there is the horizon, right?

And we can think of at the end of that, there is a book and that’s me, and that’s something that is going to stay even after I’m gone. And I would like to know if there is— 

Bella Mahaya Carter: Wait, before you asked me the question, I want to respond to what you said, because that was, so that was so cool. So the first thing I want to say is that I love the word courage because the Latin root of courage is ‘core’, which means heart.

So I think that’s really cool. And then did you say, did I hear you correctly? Did you say sometimes I feel like I’m crawling around in a war camp and there’s bombs going off everywhere. 

Michele Amitrani: Yeah, I said that.

Bella Mahaya Carter: Wow. That’s really, that’s such a vivid image and boy, that’s just a very vivid, vivid image. And I feel like I, there’s something that I want to say about. But I’m not sure what…

Michele Amitrani: Take your time Bella. You have all day.

Bella Mahaya Carter: Yeah, yeah. It’s just, it’s a very compelling image. It’s very compelling. And I’m gonna I’m going to be thinking about that and I feel like there’s something that I want to tell you about that, but I don’t know what it is yet.

So maybe I’ll write a blog post. 

Michele Amitrani: Absolutely. And I will be reading that for sure. 

Bella Mahaya Carter: Okay. Cause that is very compelling and there’s stuff I want to say about it, but it’s not, it’s not, it’s not here yet. It’s just like, oh, I see. Okay. So I’m going to be talking about that. Thank you for that. Okay.

Now go ahead and I’ll answer your question.

Crystal Hunt: I was going to say, before we move on to that, if you do send us the link to that blog post, we can put it in the show notes. So folks, if you are now filled with curiosity about what those thoughts are going to be that bubble up you’ll be able to track that down.

Bella Mahaya Carter:. Yeah, that’s so great. Crystal. Thank you. I can feel something tingling. Like there’s something that’s wanting to come through, but it’s not, it’s just, it’s not going to do it right now at this moment, but it is going to that, there’s something there for. 

Michele Amitrani: Everything at the right time. That’s important. You mentioned that you worked with lots of authors in your career. For people that really want to know more about what you do, what’s your process, that they want to connect with you further? Do you have a place where we can send our lovely listeners to? 

Bella Mahaya Carter: Yeah, they can go to my website. Www.BellaMahayaCarter.com. Yeah. And most people start like, not most, but a lot of people start out in my writing circles. And these are intimate groups of about eight people in each group that… where everybody writes and reads in every session.

I actually have a new session coming up the week of the 27th, which is the week that this is coming out. So it may be too late by then for people to join. But I run eight week sessions and the intimacy, you know, I think in my heart of hearts I’m a healing. And so I’m always, I’m always looking for how can I help heal?

And for me, healing has to do with liberation and especially for writers who feel that they can’t say the things that they want to say, it’s very productive. And we have writers at all different levels. So we have beginners to pros and it doesn’t matter what level you’re at because we all learn from each other.

And that’s like, oftentimes people start there, but I also do coaching as well. And, and coach people, depending on what their needs are at every stage of the creative process and the publishing and promoting as well, I provide sort of psycho-spiritual support for people and help them, you know, just help them, I kind of like my coaching really is a combination between life coaching and writing coaching, because I’m really supporting the whole person, not just the project.

Crystal Hunt: All right. Well, we discussed earlier how quickly time flies and we are there. So we just wanted to say, thank you so much for taking time out of your creative life, in your busy schedule, to come and chat with us today and think our listeners are going to be loving this whole conversation and avenue of things.

So please do go hunt up, Where do you Hang your Hammock? If you want a little more of this action we will, of course put all of the links to Bella’s website books, all the places you can find her in the show notes. So you can find those at strategicauthorpreneur.com.

Bella Mahaya Carter: Thank you so much. I really have enjoyed being with you. You guys are incredible.

Crystal Hunt: All right, everybody. We hope you enjoyed today’s show. Remember to hit that subscribe button or follow button wherever you’re listening to the podcast and to visit us at strategicauthorpreneur.com for the show notes, links to the books, resources, and tools that we spoke about in today’s episode. Feel free, of course, to hit that by us a coffee button or link, if you find the show helpful, every contribution helps us keep the shows coming and keep our productions ads free. Until next time happy writing.

Michele Amitrani: Happy writing everyone.